Neat Change

Candy green with a leather screen / My gasoline always supreme

2009-10-05T19:53:00.000-07:00

This happened when I was driving up to San Francisco in June. Hook it up with the 91 octane!

God bless Amoeba

2009-09-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I went to the Amoeba in the Haight with George and picked up four used albums for less than $10: Big Tymers' "Big Money Heavyweight", Diddy's "Press Play", Sean Paul's "The Trinity", and Birdman's "5 Star Stunna".

Two sad sights today

2009-09-10T02:39:00.000-07:00

1.) A Lexus sitting on 20s.

2.) Someone studying for the CBEST at the library (hopefully he was just skimming the material to see what would be tested and not actually studying)

Fantasy Finesse

2009-06-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

I have a hundred points deep into fantasy baseball season! Looking back, I made a lot of mistakes during my draft, but I'm sitting pretty now anyway. Here's my current lineup in the 12-team league (numbers indicate when the player was drafted, FA/W = picked up from free agents or waivers, along with date):

C - Geovany Soto (58)
1B - Carlos Peña (106)
2B - Ian Kinsler (15)
3B - Ryan Zimmerman (W, 4/15)
SS - Jimmy Rollins (10)
OF - Ichiro Suzuki (M. Holliday [34] for I. Suzuki, 6/3)
OF - B.J. Upton (F. Rodriguez [82] & D. Span [FA, 4/9] for B.J. Upton and B. Lidge, 5/16)
OF - Curtis Granderson (A. Jones [202] & B. Inge [FA, 4/9] for C. Granderson, 6/12)
Util - Andre Ethier (154)
BN - Bengie Molina (FA, 6/14)
BN - Marco Scutaro (FA, 4/11)
DL - Aramis Ramírez (39)

SP - Josh Beckett (63)
SP - Zack Greinke (135)
RP - Chad Qualls (183)
RP - Jason Frasor (FA, 6/19)
P - Mike Gonzalez (159)
P - Jered Weaver (207)
P - James Shields (E. Volquez [111] for J. Shields, 4/11)
BN - John Lackey (87)
BN - Frank Francisco [DL] (231)
BN - Brad Lidge [DL] (F. Rodriguez [82] & D. Span for B.J. Upton and B. Lidge, 5/16)

Drafted players dropped:
B.J. Ryan (130)
Xavier Nady (178)
Plácido Polanco (226)
Carlos Gómez (250)

Comeback King

2009-06-18T00:47:00.000-07:00

Have you ever found yourself dominated with only three outs to save you? Sure you have.

But have you ever hit all three of those outs?

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $20+$2 Tournament, 125/250 Blinds 25 Ante (9 handed)

MP2 (t2828)

MP3 (t7645)

CO (t4510)

Button (t9605)

SB (t14190)

BB (t2605)

UTG (t5583)

Hero (UTG+1) (t5655)

MP1 (t2683)

Hero's M: 9.43

Preflop: Hero is UTG+1 with K, J

1 fold, Hero bets t750, MP1 raises to t2658 (All-In), 6 folds, Hero calls t1908

Flop: (t5916) K, 7, K (2 players, 1 all-in)

Turn: (t5916) 2 (2 players, 1 all-in)

River: (t5916) K (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: t5916

Results:

Hero had K, J (four of a kind, Kings).

MP1 had J, A (three of a kind, Kings).

Outcome: Hero won t5916

Ok, so here it's down to seven players at the final table. Things are looking a little grim...

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $20+$2 Tournament, 400/800 Blinds 75 Ante (7 handed)

Button (t3327)

SB (t13571)

Hero (BB) (t1504)

UTG (t90960)

MP1 (t40768)

MP2 (t12373)

CO (t12997)

Hero's M: 0.87

Preflop: Hero is BB with Q, 7

UTG bets t3200, 4 folds, SB raises to t13496 (All-In), Hero calls t629 (All-In), 1 fold

Flop: (t8354) 7, 6, 8 (2 players, 2 all-in)

Turn: (t8354) 9 (2 players, 2 all-in)

River: (t8354) 5 (2 players, 2 all-in)

Total pot: t8354

Results:

SB had A, Q (straight, nine high).

Hero had Q, 7 (straight, nine high).

Outcome: SB won t5948, Hero won t2406

And I think you know how it ends, bitches.

An Omaha Hi-Lo player's dream hand

2009-06-04T19:24:00.000-07:00

PokerStars No-Limit Omaha Hi/Lo, $2.00 BB (6 handed)

BB ($50)

Villain 1 (UTG) ($463)

MP ($99.65)

CO ($70.40)

Villain 2 (Button) ($68.55)

Hero (SB) ($119.70)

Preflop: Hero is SB with 5, 2, 7, 4

Villain 1 bets $6, 1 fold, CO calls $6, Villain 2 calls $6, Hero calls $5, 1 fold

Flop: ($26) 4, 3, 4 (4 players)

Hero bets $14, Villain 1 calls $14, 1 fold, Villain 2 raises to $62.55 (All-In), Hero calls $48.55, Villain 1 calls $48.55

Turn: ($213.65) A (3 players, 1 all-in)

Hero bets $18, Villain 1 raises to $212, Hero calls $33.15 (All-In)

River: ($315.95) J (3 players, 2 all-in)

Total pot: $315.95 | Rake: $3

Results:

Villain 2 mucked K, 3, K, 3 (Hi: full house, threes over fours).

Hero had 5, 2, 7, 4 (Hi: straight flush, five high, Lo: [ 5, 4, 3, 2, A ]).

Villain 1 mucked A, 7, 5, A (Hi: full house, Aces over fours, Lo: [ 7, 5, 4, 3, A ]).

Outcome: Hero won $312.95

Hot Stuff

2009-05-23T02:59:00.000-07:00

Sriracha Chili Sauce was invented by a Tran!

Quarter brick, half a brick, 99 bricks, AYE!

2009-05-22T01:11:00.000-07:00

I definitely played 99 Bricks dozens of times when it first came out and I could not build a tower using all the bricks. I revisit the game half a year later and build the tower on my first try. Funny how that shit happens sometimes.

Another crazy tower I built back then:

The game is an interesting twist on Tetris. That would explain why I like it.

Boom Boom Boom

2009-05-20T20:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I heard the extremely rare event of three radio stations playing the same song. On May 19th around 10:00 am, Power 106, KISS FM, and 97.1 AMP Radio were all playing "Boom Boom Pow". Imagine hearing a song that you're sick of hearing, switching to another station, hearing the same song, switching to yet another station, and then hearing the same song again! Then you know why you're sick of hearing that song.

Gasoline Dreams

2009-05-19T22:29:00.001-07:00

This is the largest price difference between two gasoline grades I've seen.

Picture taken in October 2008

Karaoke Master

2009-04-19T13:50:00.000-07:00

Now you can completely sing along to "Rosa Parks":

Uh huh, uh huh, baby, yeah yeah, uh huh, yeah yeah, baby, uh huh, uh huh, baby, uh huh, yeah yeah, baby, yeah yeah, uh huh, uh huh

This is the intro and the outro of the song, but it is repeated twice for the outro. There doesn't seem to be any pattern here which is why you're never 100% sure what she'll say next. But now you can be.

Little Temple Tempo

2009-04-19T12:15:00.000-07:00

Brew Co. in Westwood is a bar that uses the same "shining star" hand stamp as Little Temple, a club that charges $7 cover.

Justice, Sweet Justice

2009-04-12T11:15:00.000-07:00

The superstitious gambler is presented with a dilemma when a roulette display shows a monochromatic streak. When the last eight spins of the wheel have come up black, does that mean you should go with the trend and bet black or bet red because it's "due"? For what it's worth, I always bet red (followed by the Martingale system if another black does come).

In this poker situation, I went with black. One of my dreams is to travel around the world to play poker. I spend part of my poker profits playing online tournaments that satellite to live events. These tournaments have payouts that are even more top-heavy than normal and there is no possibility of a deal. This creates a heartbreaking bubble which I've been on the wrong side of more often than not. So when you have a streak of three tournaments where you go deep (but not quite win; see previous post), what do you do? You could say that it is statistically unlikely to place in the top two in these satellites and now that you've done it three times, it's best to quit while you're ahead. Red.

However, poker is not like roulette where you can sit back and watch the wheel answer the question "What if?" When you bet red, the situation will still be there a month from now. What are you going to do, never play a live event satellite again?

No, you take confidence from your previous deep finishes, remind yourself that poker is more skill than luck, and take the plunge. And here, it's not red that's due, it's a motherfucking win.

The conditions were favorable, my friends: a three entry fee overlay and one player who forgot about the tournament and sat out the whole time. Favorable turned to destined when I exacted apropo justice to the player who cracked my aces in the last tournament by busting him out with pocket aces.

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $400+$25 Tournament, 15/30 Blinds (6 handed)

Hero (CO) (t4607)

Button (t10630)

SB (t4420)

BB (t4910)

UTG (t5270)

MP (t5163)

Hero's M: 102.38

Preflop: Hero is CO with A, A

1 fold, MP calls t30, Hero bets t150, 1 fold, SB calls t135, 2 folds

Flop: (t360) 6, Q, 3 (2 players)

SB checks, Hero bets t210, SB raises to t540, Hero calls t330

Turn: (t1440) 6 (2 players)

SB bets t270, Hero raises to t1070, SB calls t800

River: (t3580) 10 (2 players)

SB checks, Hero bets t2847 (All-In), SB calls t2660 (All-In)

Total pot: t8900

Results:

SB had A, Q (two pair, Queens and sixes).

Hero had A, A (two pair, Aces and sixes).

Outcome: Hero won t8900

The hand that made sure I had a few bad beats to spare when it came time for heads up:

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $400+$25 Tournament, 50/100 Blinds (4 handed)

Hero (SB) (t15117)

BB (t10000)

UTG (t4340)

Button (t5543)

Hero's M: 100.78

Preflop: Hero is SB with Q, K

2 folds, Hero bets t300, BB calls t200

Flop: (t600) 5, Q, Q (2 players)

Hero bets t400, BB raises to t1000, Hero raises to t2800, BB calls t1800

Turn: (t6200) 6 (2 players)

Hero bets t2000, BB calls t2000

River: (t10200) 2 (2 players)

Hero checks, BB bets t1000, Hero raises to t4100, BB calls t3100

Total pot: t18400

Results:

Hero had Q, K (three of a kind, Queens).

BB mucked 8, 8 (two pair, Queens and eights).

Outcome: Hero won t18400

And finally, the last hand:

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $400+$25 Tournament, 75/150 Blinds (2 handed)

Hero (SB) (t32769)

Button (t2231)

Hero's M: 145.64

Preflop: Hero is SB with 8, 8

Button bets t2231 (All-In), Hero calls t2081

Flop: (t4462) J, 6, 6 (2 players, 1 all-in)

Turn: (t4462) Q (2 players, 1 all-in)

River: (t4462) 8 (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: t4462

Results:

Button had K, Q (two pair, Queens and sixes).

Hero had 8, 8 (full house, eights over sixes).

Outcome: Hero won t4462

Cruel, cruel fate

2009-03-19T05:20:00.000-07:00

Because a good joke deserves to be heard twice.

To my credit though, I did not choke the second time. By the time we got heads up, the other guy had me out-chipped 69k to 9k. I would have needed to double up twice just to get even with him and when a KQo can't beat a T7o, it's just not your night.

Edit (4/5/09): I think I'm going to be sick.

Making sick plays like this:

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $400+$25 Tournament, 300/600 Blinds 50 Ante (2 handed)

Hero (SB) (t26590)

Villain (Button) (t33410)

Hero's M: 26.59

Preflop: Hero is SB with 6, 6

Villain bets t1800, Hero calls t1200

Flop: (t3700) 5, 9, 5 (2 players)

Hero bets t2400, Villain raises to t6000, Hero calls t3600

Turn: (t15700) 2 (2 players)

Hero checks, Villain bets t4200, Hero raises to t18740 (All-In), 1 fold

Total pot: t24100

Results:

Hero didn't show 6, 6 (nothing).

Outcome: Hero won t24100

Only to lose to this bullshit:

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $400+$25 Tournament, 300/600 Blinds 50 Ante (2 handed)

Hero (SB) (t34340)

Villain (Button) (t25660)

Hero's M: 34.34

Preflop: Hero is SB with A, A

Villain bets t1800, Hero raises to t4200, Villain calls t2400

Flop: (t8500) 6, 3, 2 (2 players)

Hero bets t4200, Villain calls t4200

Turn: (t16900) 7 (2 players)

Hero bets t25890 (All-In), Villain calls t17210 (All-In)

River: (t51320) 8 (2 players, 2 all-in)

Total pot: t51320

Results:

Villain had 4, 5 (flush, seven high).

Hero had A, A (one pair, Aces).

Outcome: Villain won t51320

My Mom is a Fob

2009-03-14T17:10:00.000-07:00

Today's "My Mom is a Fob" moment:

Mom: What's the name of your company again?
Me: SodaHead
Mom: Oh, like the shampoo?
Me: Huh?
Mom: That's the name of a shampoo company.
Me: Oh, Shoulder Head. You're thinking of Head and Shoulders. My company is called SodaHead.
Mom: It's different?
Me: Yeah, "soda" as in Coca-Cola.
Mom: And "head"?
Me: That part's the same.

Bringing home the bacon

2009-03-08T15:06:00.000-07:00

For persistent people like me, Meat Boy can really eat up your time. After beating the original game, I took on the map pack, a collection of user-submitted levels that proved more devious than the original set. After two sessions of playing, I haven't beaten half the levels, but I got what I came for: one of the toughest hard badges on Kongregate.

In degenerate gambling news, I let Tatum talk himself into a parlay bet for the "Rampage" Jackson/Keith Jardine fight. Ok, so get this. I gave him 9 to 1 odds if there was a groin kick in the match and Rampage wins in the second round. Of course, with my twisted luck in sports betting, there are no easy bets. I swear, almost every sports bet I make comes down to the wire. So, lo and behold, Jardine kicks Rampage in the groin in a troubled second round for him and fulfills the hard half of the bet. But somehow, despite whiffing punches and stumbling around the ring, Jardine survived the second round and I got my dinner subsidized.

Beat the Meat

2009-03-03T01:03:00.000-08:00

I just beat Meat Boy, a difficult platform game. The plot is straightforward enough: Dr. Fetus has kidnapped Band-Aid Girl and you, Meat Boy, have to go through many hellish levels to save her. Like the notoriously difficult game "I Wanna Be the Guy", "Meat Boy" has very simple controls and gives the player an infinite number of lives. That way, it's only really Game Over when you throw your computer out of the window in frustration. Luckily, "Meat Boy" is much easier than IWBTG in that there are no surprise death traps. "Meat Boy" also has a very merciful setup where you only have to beat 3 out of 5 levels in a set to advance to the next set of five levels. However, I tried not to take the wuss' path and I ended up beating every level except for two. Give "Meat Boy" a shot. It's co-designed by a guy named Edmund, so you know it's amazing. Well, it's definitely not every gamer's cup of tea, but it is immensely satisfying to beat the game for those with the patience and reflexes to get through it.

Meat Boy jumps over a pool of salt on his way to rescue Band-Aid Girl.

Here are some videos of "I Wanna Be the Guy" just so you have an idea of how insanely difficult it is. This player actually makes it look easier than it really is because he has already memorized every trap. In "Meat Boy" your character can jump off walls. In IWBTG, the character can do a double jump.

Biggest Pot of My Life

2009-02-07T16:16:00.000-08:00

Cake Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $50.00 BB (2 handed)

Hero (SB) ($8942)

Villain (Button) ($11115.62)

Preflop: Hero is SB with K, 5

Hero raises to $100, Villain calls $50

Flop: ($200) 4, K, 5 (2 players)

Villain bets $200, Hero raises to $600, Villain raises to $1800, Hero raises to $8842 (All-In), Villain calls $6442

Turn: ($16684) 2 (2 players, 1 all-in)

River: ($16684) 7 (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: $16684

Results:

Villain had K, 4 (two pair, Kings and fours).

Hero had K, 5 (two pair, Kings and fives).

Outcome: Hero won $17883.50

Santonio Holmes is the man

2009-02-01T22:18:00.000-08:00

What an emotional rollercoaster this year's Super Bowl was. Here were my Super Bowl bets:

1/23/09
$500 on Steelers money line (-260)

1/30/09
$240 on Steelers money line (-240)

2/1/09
$101 on Tails for coin toss (-101)
$500 on No for "Will the game be decided by exactly 3 points" (-550)
$315 on No for "Will Larry Fitzgerald score 2 or more TDs" (-320)

Ignoring my frivolous coin flip bet, I was sitting pretty at the start of the fourth quarter. Pittsburgh was up 20-7 and Larry Fitzgerald had not scored any touchdowns yet, thanks to their double coverage. Then, with about two and a half minutes left in the fourth quarter, everything came crashing down. In one fell swoop, all of my remaining bets were put into jeopardy.

Larry Fitzgerald ran down the middle of the field for his second touchdown to put Arizona ahead by 3 points.

I just sat there stunned. I think a few minutes later, I found some profanities to yell at the Steeler safeties.

Pittsburgh had enough time to drive up the field and send the game into overtime with a field goal. However, that would almost guarantee a loss on my bet against the game being decided by 3 points because teams usually win overtimes by being the first to kick a field goal. What I needed was a Pittsburgh touchdown.

As if hearing my plea, Santonio Holmes then went out to capture the MVP title. First down, thanks to two receptions from Holmes. Two plays later, Holmes breaks away to almost get a touchdown. He falls short, but it gets the Steelers in the red zone with about a minute to go. Roethlisberger looks to Holmes again in the end zone but the ball goes right between Santonio's hands. The commentators are wondering what the next play would have to be. "It's got to be Wards or Miller," they mused.

Hell no! Gotta be Holmes again! Hit 'em where they least expect it. Santonio Holmes catches the next pass and keeps both of his feet in and control of the ball before he gets knocked out of the endzone. Huge, huge touchdown and one that prevented me from essentially going 0-4 in my bets.

Slowly getting better

2009-01-31T09:15:00.000-08:00

I'm getting better at laying down big hands! Even though I might miss out on the occasional pot or two.

Cake Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $10.00 BB (6 handed)

Villain_2 (MP) ($868)

CO ($1082)

Button ($297)

Villain_1 (SB) ($1273.17)

Hero (BB) ($563.50)

UTG ($1328)

Preflop: Hero is BB with J, 4

1 fold, Villain_2 calls $10, 2 folds, Villain_1 calls $5, Hero checks

Flop: ($30) 2, 4, K (3 players)

Villain_1 checks, Hero bets $30, Villain_2 calls $30, Villain_1 calls $30

Turn: ($120) J (3 players)

Villain_1 checks, Hero bets $120, Villain_2 calls $120, Villain_1 raises to $330, Hero folds, Villain_2 raises to $828 (All-In), Villain_1 calls $378

River: ($1656) J (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: $1656

Results in white below:

Villain_1 had J, 4 (full house, Jacks over fours).

Villain_2 had Q, K (two pair, Kings and Jacks).

Outcome: Villain_1 won $1893

And then sometimes, you just gotta throw caution to the wind and forget about your shitty kicker.

Cake Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $10.00 BB (6 handed)

SB ($457)

Villain (BB) ($1290.50)

UTG ($478.50)

MP ($2170.17)

Hero (CO) ($512.50)

Button ($1471.50)

Preflop: Hero is CO with 5, 3

UTG calls $10, 1 fold, Hero calls $10, 1 fold, SB calls $5, Villain checks

Flop: ($40) 3, 4, 3 (4 players)

SB checks, Villain bets $20, 1 fold, Hero raises to $60, 1 fold, Villain raises to $100, Hero calls $40

Turn: ($240) 2 (2 players)

Villain bets $240, Hero raises to $402.50 (All-In), Villain calls $162.50

River: ($1045) 8 (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: $1045 | Rake: $3

Results:

Villain had Q, 4 (two pair, fours and threes).

Hero had 5, 3 (three of a kind, threes).

Outcome: Hero won $1042

Low-stakes omaha tournaments are very entertaining

2009-01-30T14:31:00.000-08:00

After spending the tournament letting us all know how the cards were rigged and then busting out at the half hour mark:

snoopbear: BSBSBSBSBSDB\
snoopbear: DAM DEMON THIEF HOUSE

What a...comeback?

2009-01-27T23:54:00.000-08:00

Last weekend while I was in Vegas, the Sacramento Kings were playing the Milwaukee Bucks and the over/under was 216 points. I bet $320 on under (medium confidence). I pretty much lost all hope when I saw the score at the end of the first quarter: Kings 36, Bucks 33. The second quarter was above pace also, with the two teams scoring 56 points combined. So after 125 points in the first half, the Kings and Bucks went on an amazing comeback of low scoring, with no team scoring more than 22 points in the last two quarters. Chris did a halftime bet on the under and won that easily. Actually, it was pretty stressful, yet fun, rooting against overtime.

Final score: Bucks 106, Kings 104.

Naruto: Anime Crack

2009-01-17T13:20:00.000-08:00

I started watching Naruto when I was home for Thanksgiving, starting from the beginning, since I only watched about two dozen episodes when I was in college before something more pressing came along, like finals or something. It is not a perfect show, but goddamn, it's addicting. Yesterday, I finally managed to get up to date with the series, meaning I watched about 225 episodes, while skipping the filler episodes. That is 75 hours of free time spent in front of my computer watching anime. I'm not sure if that's something to brag about, but I should be finding myself with more free time in the upcoming months.

Nothin' But Net

2009-01-14T23:13:00.000-08:00

One of my characteristics that I need to work on is asking for help. Most of the time, I try to figure things out on my own. This is great for developing independence, but doing it too much restricts your growth. I think a little bit of it is stubbornness, but some of it is also embarrassment. It's that fear of asking the dreaded Stupid Question that prevents me from learning as much I as I could.

Well, I am really happy that I asked George for help with basketball. It was a good small step because it is not a big deal for me to be humble about my basketball skills, mostly because I don't have much of it nor do I have the image of being a good basketball player. George helped me work on changing my two-handed shot to the correct way of shooting. I practiced today by myself after work and the difference is amazing. After warming up, I was sinking two, three, four shots in a row. I was also making baseline shots, which I almost never sink when I shot the old way. I always knew that my shot was incorrect, but I learned to make it serviceable and was content with that because I rarely play basketball anyway. I also hold my chopsticks the incorrect way, but since I've learned to get the job done using that method, I never saw a need to change it.

I'll have to practice some more to make this new shooting form second nature, because I know that in the heat of a game, I would just revert to my old habits. I didn't try any shots further than the free throw line because I didn't want to jump with my sprained ankle, but I imagine that I can finally start to shoot three pointers more consistently with the proper form. My uncontested 3 pointer percentage right now must be around 10%, so I definitely can't wait to bring that up.

The Mystery of the Waterfree Urinal

2009-01-13T23:04:00.000-08:00

You know how you have a question about something and you tell yourself that you'll look it up when you get home, but end up forgetting to? Well, for once I remembered! I have seen a few places now that use water-free urinals. There is no flushing, and yet it is supposed to still be hygienic. So I finally remembered to google it to prove to myself that this wasn't just a glorified hole in the ground. After reading it, I'm a little amazed that this technology is only starting to catch on. I wonder if it's because so many people in developed countries have a hard time understanding how it's possible to have a water shortage, just like there are many who are skeptical about global warming.

Every rapper's favorite show

2009-01-08T04:09:00.001-08:00

And now it's all mine for $89.99. That's like, what, a gram of coke?

A look back at 2008 hip-hop and R&B, Part 2

2009-01-07T23:42:00.000-08:00

5 Notable Omissions from the Top 25

1. Whatever You Like - T.I.
One of those rare songs where the clean version is better than the dirty version (other examples include "I Wanna Love You" by Akon feat. Snoop Dogg and Snoop's own song "Sensual Seduction"), this was a serious contender for the list for its ability to worm itself in your head and live for days. However, it is sad that the biggest hit of T.I.'s career doesn't even have any rapping.

2. Lollipop - Lil' Wayne
This was another monster of a single that could not be ignored. Again, this is the biggest song of Lil' Wayne's career and it's not really rap. It just bothers me that there are people out there who think "Whatever You Like" and "Lollipop" are the best that these artists have to offer, when these artists just happen to be two of the best rappers in the game right now.

3. Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) - Beyonce
Sounded too similar to the B'Day album.

4. Low - Flo Rida feat. T-Pain
I actually don't really have any complaints about this song for what it is. It would've probably made a Top 30.

5. Love Lockdown - Kanye West
Don't mistaken surprising for innovative. Don't interpret minimalist as sophisticated. Don't think that emotionless singing is meant to portray numbness. Thank you.

(Click to enlarge. Created by Andrew Kuo.)

5 Winners of 2008 (not in any order)

1. Baby Bash
After making awful radio songs for like five years, Baby Bash had a quietly successful 2008 by taking time off from immaculately grooming his facial hair to put out two songs I actually like: "Don't Stop" and "What Is It".

2. DJ Felli Fel
He's the new DJ Khaled of collaborations. Felli Fel's beats are simplistic and his songs are not even geared towards the same demographic as Khaled, but the quality is consistent even if it's not exceptional. I'm actually not sure if these songs get any airplay outside of Power 106, but I don't switch the station when "Finer Things", "Don't Stop", or "Feel It" come on.

3. Lil' Wayne
"Tha Carter 3" went platinum in a week. Outside of that, he showed up to rap on R&B songs (e.g. Keri Hilson's "Turnin' Me On") and sing on rap songs (e.g. The Game's "My Life"). He even crossed genre bridges with "Let It Rock". Even Kanye West was willing to concede that 2008 was Weezy's year, offering him the American Music Award for Favorite Male Rap Artist that he won. However, I feel that the two years that led to Lil' Wayne's domination of 2008 were even more impressive. Weezy set himself up for success by churning out countless mixtapes, most notably "Dedication 2", "Da Drought 3", and "The Drought is Over 2 (The Carter 3 Sessions)". The fact that he was able to achieve such insane quantity AND quality was mind-boggling and had fans hungry for "Tha Carter 3", more than happy to shell out $9.99 in thanks for all the amazing free music before.

4 & 5. Rihanna and Beyonce
Love 'em or hate 'em, they both have the most number one singles for a female solo artist this decade at 5 apiece.

Rihanna's #1 hits: S.O.S., Umbrella, Take a Bow, Disturbia, Live Your Life
Beyonce's #1 hits: Crazy in Love, Baby Boy, Check On It, Irreplaceable, Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)

5 Losers of 2008 (not in any order)

1. 50 Cent
50 Cent's ego is too big to accept the fact that his star is fading. Embarrassed after losing his sales battle to Kanye West, he goes on to mock Kanye's "Love Lockdown" when the fact is that his own single "Get Up" would go on to fall off radio playlists after a few weeks. An album of Kanye West singing will still out-sell an album of 50 Cent rapping, so Fiddy doesn't have shit on Kanye. Desperately seeking attention, 50 Cent also beefed with Fat Joe, Rick Ross, and T.I. this year. Oh, and don't forget about him calling Weezy a whore for showing up on everyone's tracks. Lil' Wayne brushed it off at the time, but later took some shots at 50 on the song "Louisianimal":

All about a dollar, fuck two quarters
Bitch I’ll pour syrup in that Vitamin Water
I hope you die ugly, and tonight will be gorgeous

2. Rick Ross
He used to be a corrections officer. What the fuck.

3. The Game
Still can't make any songs without name dropping.

4. David Banner
This worthless motherfucker can't make a damn hit without biting off whatever song is hot at the moment. First he had "Like a Pimp", which came on the heels of 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P." Then there was "Play", which aped "The Whisper Song". In 2008, David Banner jacked a Yung Joc line from "It's Goin' Down" to make "Get Like Me" and rode on the coattails of Weezy's "Lollipop" with "Shawty Says".

5. Soulja Boy Tell 'Em
Haha, he has to add that stupid "Tell 'Em" on his name because "Soulja Boy" was already taken. What about trying to go platinum in a week like Lil' Wayne and ending up only moving 46,000 units? No, no, nothing could top this outrageous interview with the host of BET's "The Black Carpet" Touré:

"
Last week in Atlanta, I got to interview Soulja Boy Tell Em. I found out just how young he really is. He was one of about ten rappers I interviewed in one day for my BET show, The Black Carpet. I decided it'd be fun to give all the rappers part of the Proust questionnaire. I thought it'd be a way to get beyond image and into who they really are. Most of the guys gave good, thoughtful, intelligent, sensitive answers. I asked Juelz Santana, “How would you like to die?” He said, "Loved."

Then came Soulja Boy Tell Em. I asked him, “What historical figure do you most hate?” He was stumped. I said, "Others have said Hitler, bin Laden, the slave masters..." He said, "Oh wait! Hold up! Shout out to the slave masters! Without them we'd still be in Africa."

My jaw, at this point, was on the ground."We wouldn't be here," he continued, having no idea how far in it he'd stepped, "to get this ice and tattoos."
"

Best Latin Hip-Hop Single of 2008

To The Top by Omar Cruz feat. Frankie J

The Yearly Wrap-up by Skillz

What does he do the other 364 days of the year?

A look back at 2008 hip-hop and R&B, Part 1

2009-01-03T02:06:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm a little late with this year's best mainstream singles list, but last year I was too early and ended up missing some jams like Sean Kingston's "Take You There" and Trey Songz' "Can't Help But Wait". I have a feeling that some of the nits out there will raise a debate about what qualifies as a mainstream hip-hop/R&B single. For example, why was a Justin Timberlake song eligible for past lists, but a Leona Lewis song -- arguably just as R&B as JT -- not taken into consideration for this year? Why do some remixes count and not others? Well, here's the rule I use: If I heard the song on a radio station dedicated solely to hip-hop and R&B, then it's valid. Anyway, enough of this, let's get on with the list.

25. Heartless - Kanye West
Kanye went in a new direction with his fourth album "808s and Heartbreak", which polarized his fans by eschewing his clever raps in favor of Auto-Tune singing. I'm pretty sure white people totally ate up "Love Lockdown", but I prefer my lyrics slightly less shitty and thus I prefer the second single "Heartless".

Sorry, this song was not deserving of a spot on this list upon further listening. A better song to replace it would be "My President" by Young Jeezy feat. Nas or "Come Over" by Estelle feat. Sean Paul.

24. So Fly - Slim feat. Yung Joc
No one really knew the names of the members of 112, even at the height of their popularity. But now we all know that it's Slim with that distinctive voice. Yung Joc keeps it cool, Slim keeps it smooth, and that's how you make a song.

23. Put On - Young Jeezy feat. Kanye West
This might have been the song that convinced me that Kanye really was going to release an entire album of Auto-Tune singing.

22. Live Your Life - T.I. feat. Rihanna
Once I got over the sampling of "Numa Numa", I realized this song was pretty good. I worked with this instrumental for a project and got to appreciate all the layers that Just Blaze put into the beat. Rihanna complements the sweeping instrumental and truly gives it an epic feel. It did take some time for the song to grow on me (I thought T.I. and Rihanna's parts did not mesh well together), but I now think it's solid.

21. Can't Believe It - T-Pain feat. Lil' Wayne
With a minimalistic beat, this song relies heavily on vocal melody. It's probably one of T-Pain's best songs and would've been bumped up a few more spots if it had a better Weezy verse. Be sure to check out the remix with Justin Timberlake.

20. Touch My Body - Mariah Carey
I hope we never see Mariah Carey when she gets old, so that this song can always trigger inappropriate fantasies. Mariah Carey remains a tantalizing sex symbol now that we know not to hold our breath for a sex tape. Also, the last breezy piece of inescapable pop to use oddly violent imagery was Sean Kingston's "Take You There" and that song was awesome too! Coincidence? I think not, good sir.

19. Brooklyn Go Hard - Jay-Z feat. Santogold
This is off the soundtrack for "Notorious", which I am excited to see. I can't believe Jay-Z is 38 years old and still making bangers.

18. Day 'n' Nite [Crookers remix] - Kid Cudi
Kid Cudi may be under Kanye's wing, but this song sounds like something Pharrell would do.

17. Love In This Club - Usher feat. Young Jeezy
You gotta love Jeezy's raspy voice, letting you know what's missing in your life: "Have you ever made love to a thug in the club with his ice on?" Usher pounds out another catchy hit, though he does play it a little safe. Either way, the song was so big that "Love In This Club, Part 2" with Beyonce and Lil' Wayne got radio airplay.

16. Move - Q-Tip
Q-Tip and J Dilla team up to craft a lyrical head-nodder that reminds you of the late 90s: a sound more modern than A Tribe Called Quest's best and the time when cats like Mos Def and Talib Kweli were everyone's favorite rappers.

15. Mrs. Officer - Lil' Wayne feat. Bobby Valentino & Kidd Kidd
"Tha Carter 3"'s fourth single is a fun song with a lot more thought put into it than "Lollipop".

14. Damaged - Danity Kane
Move over, Pussycat Dolls. There's a new girl group in town.

13. Spotlight - Jennifer Hudson
Those who were impressed with Jennifer Hudson in "Dreamgirls" have been waiting a while for her to come out with her first radio single. Aside from the great vocals, I like this song because I hope it might inspire some of the countless girls who are in shitty relationships to get out of them. It's 2009; suffering in silence under some misguided sense of loyalty is not cool anymore.

12. Teenage Love Affair - Alicia Keys
Sometimes when I listen to Motown classics, I get sad that there's only a fixed number of songs with that old R&B sound. But then I remember Alicia Keys, who manages to make this list year after year, and I smile knowing that modern R&B can indeed be simple and touching. Young love is one of my favorite song topics and Alicia Keys captures its consuming nature very well.

11. No Air - Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown
At first I didn't like this song because there was already J Holiday's "Suffocate". But because "Suffocate" didn't become a big song like others that get horribly leeched off of (e.g. Lil' Wayne's "Lollipop" before Three 6 Mafia's "Lolli Lolli (Pop That Body)" and T.I.'s "Whatever You Like" before Problem's "Whereva You Like"), I eventually got over it and let my love of male-female duets take over.

10. Green Light - John Legend feat. Andre 3000
What an amazing collaboration. Initially, I was a little disappointed by Andre 3000's verse, but it was really that I set the bar high for 3 Stacks. "So I went hard like Medusa starin' at me..." Come on, that's awesome. And how did he manage to pseudo-rhyme "comet" and "woman"? This song fills dance floors quick, for real.

9. Need U Bad - Jazmine Sullivan
Jazmine Sullivan shows flashes of Lauryn Hill in this yearning ballad and the chorus straight up sends tingles up my spine.

8. Honey - Erykah Badu
"Honey" may not fit in with Erykah Badu's latest album, but that doesn't mean that it isn't a helluva song. Funny how the best way to describe the instrumental is that it's sticky and sweet.

7. Swagga Like Us - T.I. & Jay-Z feat. Kanye West & Lil' Wayne
Four of hip-hop's biggest rappers going hard on a single track? Yeah, I got a boner too. This song is most people's first listen to the denser and wordier flow that T.I. uses on "Paper Trail" thanks to toying with written rhymes.

6. What You Got - Colby O'Donis feat. Akon
Ok, so Colby O'Donis looks like a douche, but if he can make another song as infectious as this one, I don't really care.

5. Superstar [remix] - Lupe Fiasco feat. Young Jeezy, T.I., & Matthew Santos
T.I. fucking killed this shit! The other verses were good too, but damn! Props to Lupe for actually recording a new verse for the remix.

4. A Milli - Lil' Wayne feat. Corey Gunz
Quintessential Wayne: Aggressive, entertaining, random. Has anyone figured out whether the line "what's a goon to a goblin" refers to Plies? Because that would be hilarious!

3. American Boy - Estelle feat. Kanye West
Like "Green Light", this catchy song is a brilliant collaboration. While "Green Light" benefited from Andre 3000's freewheeling style, "American Boy"'s subject matter suits Kanye's image and style. It's an entertaining exercise to think of the worst rapper to guest on this song. Lil' Jon? Pitbull spitting British slang?

2. I Luv Your Girl - The Dream
Is this R&B from the future? A sensual, but muted, backdrop blends well with The Dream's lascivious vocals. The high rating is for the album and radio cut, not the music video version with a clashing Young Jeezy verse. Though The Dream acknowledges the likely inspiration for the song ("Kelly told y'all don't bring 'em in the club", referencing last year's hit "I'm a Flirt"), his version puts the girl in the aggressor role ("She drop it down to the floor / I'm like, "Shawty, you should go" / But she like, "Fuuuck that nigga") and him in the position of being pleasantly surprised. Of course, he's more than willing to take advantage of the situation, but not before leaving you with a burn: "Part of me feel so bad, but ooooh, not that bad"

1. Paper Planes [remix] - M.I.A. feat. Bun B & Rich Boy
Ok, so it's a little cheap to ride alongside M.I.A.'s monster of a song to take this year's top honor, but you have to give it up for Bun B and Rich Boy for actually staying on topic unlike others who only saw this song as a hot beat with gunshots in it (I'm looking at you, Rick Ross!). M.I.A. is sparse but on point with her lyrics, laying them on beefed up music from The Clash's "Straight to Hell" with sing-song swagger. It can even be argued that M.I.A.'s song flips the script on "Straight to Hell" and portrays the backlash from those wronged immigrants. Perhaps "backlash" isn't the right word, as the hustle isn't driven by revenge but the need to escape from oppressive poverty. Bun B easily outshines Rich Boy with one of the best verses of the year. He explains that crime continues to exist because of police ineffectiveness, but implores us to use our heads to come up with a better cure for poverty. Rich Boy's verse may be just a cliche gun-girl metaphor, but he does a fantastic job with it. Sample line: "She look like 22, but she really 45."

You can listen to almost every song on this list in the player below. Support the artists you like by buying their music.

Top 25 Hip-Hop and R&B singles of 2008

Uncharacteristic of me

2008-12-17T21:13:00.000-08:00

I don't remember the last time I tried a bluff like this.

Cake Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $4.00 BB (5 handed)

Villain (BB) ($1052.59)

UTG ($390)

MP ($769.12)

Hero (Button) ($902.10)

SB ($263.20)

Preflop: Hero is Button with 10, 9

2 folds, Hero raises to $8, SB calls $6, Villain calls $4

Flop: ($24) 3, 6, J (3 players)

SB checks, Villain checks, Hero bets $12, 1 fold, Villain raises to $36, Hero raises to $100, Villain calls $64

Turn: ($224) 8 (2 players)

Villain checks, Hero checks

River: ($224) J (2 players)

Villain bets $120, Hero raises to $584, 1 fold

Total pot: $464 | Rake: $2

I just kept thinking after the flop. Oh crap, I just represented a set. Just stick with the story, stick with the story... This could work unless of course he's the one with the set. But if he did have one, how is not going to raise with a suited board and me representing a hand that will pay him off?

Turn card makes a flush, so I would check (plus take a free card now that I have possible straight and flush outs). River card pairs the board so I should be gunning the pot. Flush board has the possibility of scaring away a jack (his most likely hand).

Man, that felt good.

Good fold?

2008-12-16T23:12:00.000-08:00

One of my poker weaknesses is that I have a hard time folding good hands. Many times, I don't even go in the tank and I insta-call only to lose to a monster. So I was very surprised that I folded this. Is this a good or bad fold?

MERCY_PERCY! is a solid player who also thrives in cash heads up. This is from limited observation; haven't really played against him.

Baccarat Man is very loose and aggressive. He will call virtually any normal preflop raise when he has money invested in the pot, either through a blind or limp. He gets big stacks by bluffing at a lot of pots with pot-sized bets. Sometimes he leaves with chips intact, but often he gives it all back. He has improved his game recently by playing less predictably, enabling to avoid the traps that other players have learned to set against him. Baccarat Man never multi-tables.

Cake Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $10.00 BB (6 handed)

MP ($258.25)

Baccarat Man (CO) ($2980.60)

Button ($1404)

SB ($732.50)

MERCY_PERCY! (BB) ($1587.50)

Hero (UTG) ($1338.75)

Preflop: Hero is UTG with A, K

Hero raises to $50, 1 fold, Baccarat Man calls $50, 2 folds, MERCY_PERCY! calls $40

Flop: ($155) 9, 5, K (3 players)

MERCY_PERCY! checks, Hero bets $80, Baccarat Man calls $80, MERCY_PERCY! calls $80

Turn: ($395) 4 (3 players)

MERCY_PERCY! checks, Hero bets $300, Baccarat Man calls $300, MERCY_PERCY! raises to $750, Hero folds, Baccarat Man calls $450

River: ($2195) K (2 players)

MERCY_PERCY! raises to $707.50 (All-In), 1 fold

Total pot: $2195

Results:

MERCY_PERCY! didn't show

Outcome: MERCY_PERCY! won $2197

Reppin' Queens like Nas

2008-12-07T02:44:00.000-08:00

Cake Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $20.00 BB (6 handed)

SB ($5748)

BB ($2444)

Baccarat Man (UTG) ($10754.36)

Hero (MP) ($1880)

CO ($2900)

Button ($5361.08)

Preflop: Hero is MP with A, A

Baccarat Man calls $20, Hero raises to $100, 1 fold, Button calls $100, 2 folds, Baccarat Man calls $80

Flop: ($330) J, 4, Q (3 players)

Baccarat Man checks, Hero bets $300, 1 fold, Baccarat Man calls $300

Turn: ($930) J (2 players)

Baccarat Man checks, Hero bets $465, Baccarat Man calls $465

River: ($1860) K (2 players)

Baccarat Man bets $1860, Hero calls $1015 (All-In)

Total pot: $3890 | Rake: $3

Results:

Baccarat Man had 10, K (two pair, Kings and Jacks).

Hero had A, A (two pair, Aces and Jacks).

Outcome: Hero won $3887

Black Gold Deal

2008-12-05T02:10:00.000-08:00

I just filled up my entire gas tank for less than $20. Gas is $1.79 a gallon!

Black Friday Deal #1

2008-11-19T02:24:00.000-08:00

I just bought $320 worth of restaurant gift certificates for about $20. Check out restaurant.com, where you can get $10 gift certificates for $3. Enter promo code SURPRISE for 80% off on top of that. There you go, 60 cents will buy you $10 worth of food. This offer only lasts until tomorrow!

Worst to First

2008-11-10T00:58:00.000-08:00

What would you say about a fantasy basketball team in a ten manager league that drafted a starting lineup like this?

(Round - Pick) Player (Yahoo/ESPN ADP)

1 - 7 Kevin Garnett (8.2)
2 - 14 Steve Nash (12)
3 - 27 Allen Iverson (13.15)
4 - 34 Andre Iguodala (27.9)
5 - 47 Baron Davis (15.4)
6 - 54 Paul Pierce (26.1)
7 - 67 Emeka Okafor (72.75)
8 - 74 Jamal Crawford (67.95)
9 - 87 Zydrunas Ilgauskas (82.2)
10 - 94 Leandro Barbosa (72.45)

You wouldn't say that this is a team that deserves to be in last place. But that is essentially what my team is right now and I am at the bottom of the ladder looking at a pair of losses in the opening two weeks.

Right now, only two of the above players, Crawford and Ilgauskas, are outperforming their O-Rank. As the season goes on and the stats start regressing to the mean, this team is going to crush everything in its path. Worst to first, mark my words.

Barack Obama, Presidential Nominee

2008-11-04T22:02:00.000-08:00

King Me

2008-10-20T23:25:00.000-07:00

Sweet, I won Fantasy Football Week 7 in all three of my leagues. I'm still bitter about losing Week 6 just because I started Favre against the Cincinnati instead of Peyton against Baltimore. I should be in the top three of my money league of this ridiculously luck-based fantasy game.

I went to my first hockey game today. I don't really know anything about hockey other than what a power play is and that the Kings aren't very good. The LA Kings were playing Colorado and I got free tickets right by the ice. While it was not $76 fun, it was still pretty fun. I was impressed how they switch players in and out without pausing the game, which kept it pretty action-packed. The game had all the things that I was looking for: lots of goals (Kings lost 3-4), a fight (there was blood!), entertaining games between periods (guys racing in big bubbles over the ice), and hot girls (they scooped up ice). Oh and this one guy from the Avalanche slammed this Kings dude so hard it broke the glass! Fucking awesome. I also learned that the average IQ of a hockey fan is not very high.

Now that's what the fuck I call a chain reaction

2008-10-19T20:04:00.000-07:00

Just when I was ready to assume that I was going to be at the same skill level at Tetris Attack forever, I start to see some real improvement. Today, I did a 8-hit chain in single player endless mode, which means no help from garbage. Back when I was playing with Angie, a 4-hit chain was an incredibly rare occurrence. Now my reflexes are faster and I am incorporating horizontal matches in my chains much more effectively. I managed to hook my new roommate on Tetris Attack and he's come a long way, such that I now have a decent opponent that I can play regularly with. The handicap used to be level 9 to 1, but it has dropped to 7 to 1, since he is improving faster than I am. Hopefully, I can get it back to 8, if I can get more consistent with these chains.

Even more replay value than Tetris.

Quintuple Up

2008-10-07T22:39:00.000-07:00

Half an hour into a $30+3 rebuy satellite for a PCA seat. Unfortunately, I didn't survive the insane turbo blind structure.

PokerStars Game #21018997346: Tournament #112323110, $30+$3 Hold'em No Limit - Level VI (100/200) - 2008/10/08 0:47:18 ET
Table '112323110 2' 9-max Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: TERMINATERR! (3700 in chips)
Seat 2: SHIPP ITT (4150 in chips)
Seat 3: papadelpoker (7830 in chips)
Seat 4: ExtravaDanza (5505 in chips)
Seat 5: R0GEREL (4000 in chips)
Seat 6: *HERO* (3510 in chips)
Seat 7: lilica333 (2040 in chips)
Seat 8: joe3325 (19965 in chips)
Seat 9: gunitizzy (6765 in chips)
SHIPP ITT: posts small blind 100
papadelpoker: posts big blind 200

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [Js Jd]
ExtravaDanza: raises 400 to 600
R0GEREL: raises 3400 to 4000 and is all-in
*HERO*: calls 3510 and is all-in
lilica333: calls 2040 and is all-in
joe3325: folds
gunitizzy: folds
TERMINATERR!: folds
SHIPP ITT: raises 150 to 4150 and is all-in
papadelpoker: raises 3680 to 7830 and is all-in
ExtravaDanza: calls 4905 and is all-in
Uncalled bet (2325) returned to papadelpoker
ExtravaDanza said, "HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAH ONE TIME."

*** FLOP *** [8c 2h 8d]

*** TURN *** [8c 2h 8d] [4h]

*** RIVER *** [8c 2h 8d 4h] [8s]

*** SHOW DOWN ***
papadelpoker: shows [Kh Qc] (three of a kind, Eights)
ExtravaDanza: shows [Ad Qs] (three of a kind, Eights - Ace kicker)
ExtravaDanza collected 2710 from side pot-4
SHIPP ITT: shows [Tc Kc] (three of a kind, Eights - lower kicker)
ExtravaDanza collected 450 from side pot-3
R0GEREL: shows [Qh Ah] (three of a kind, Eights)
ExtravaDanza collected 980 from side pot-2
R0GEREL collected 980 from side pot-2
*HERO*: shows [Js Jd] (a full house, Eights full of Jacks)
SHIPP ITT said, "lol"
konspirator collected 7350 from side pot-1
lilica333: shows [7c Ac] (three of a kind, Eights)
*HERO* collected 12240 from main pot
SHIPP ITT said, "i was like dead"
lilica333 re-buys and receives 2000 chips for $30.00
SHIPP ITT re-buys and receives 4000 chips for $60.00

*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 24710 Main pot 12240. Side pot-1 7350. Side pot-2 1960. Side pot-3 450. Side pot-4 2710. | Rake 0
Board [8c 2h 8d 4h 8s]
Seat 1: TERMINATERR! (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: SHIPP ITT (small blind) showed [Tc Kc] and lost with three of a kind, Eights
Seat 3: papadelpoker (big blind) showed [Kh Qc] and lost with three of a kind, Eights
Seat 4: ExtravaDanza showed [Ad Qs] and won (4140) with three of a kind, Eights
Seat 5: R0GEREL showed [Qh Ah] and won (980) with three of a kind, Eights
Seat 6: *HERO* showed [Js Jd] and won (19590) with a full house, Eights full of Jacks
Seat 7: lilica333 showed [7c Ac] and lost with three of a kind, Eights
Seat 8: joe3325 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: gunitizzy folded before Flop (didn't bet)

3 Wins, 3 Fails (Part 1)

2008-10-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while because I have been busy with work and moving into the new apartment. So I was without internet for a while too, which is never as traumatizing of an experience as you think it will be. I wonder if the cell phone is like that too. We use it everyday, so the thought of not having it for a week might send some people in a panic. But would it really be that bad? All right, enough rambling, on with the show...

Win

1.) More hours at work
My supervisor at the new job likes my work and has been giving me more hours. I'm a few hours a week shy of full-time status now. I suspect that I won't get another bump in hours for a while though, so that they can avoid giving me benefits. My plan is to continue to crank up my numbers in October, make them realize I'm not easily replaceable, and then approach them for a 40 hour week, a raise, and benefits.

2.) Barack Obama is going to destroy McCain
Obama's poll numbers are skyrocketing due to a number of factors. The financial crisis is the latest water cooler topic and it is bad news for McCain. We've also had two debates since my last post, which I am, as objectively as possible, awarding to the Democrats, especially Joe Biden.
The line at Sportsbook has shifted dramatically: Obama -350, McCain +225. I put my money in at the best price and I'm actually in a position where I can arbitrage for guaranteed profit. If I put $270 on McCain, I am guaranteed a profit no matter who wins the election. I won't, of course, but there is a great sense of satisfaction in knowing that you can.

3.) New apartment!
No more gross bugs and smells. This time around, I'm getting guest parking, more storage space, and hardwood floors, while keeping my bedroom approximately the same size. The rent is a little bit more, but it's been more than a year since there was a rent increase at my old apartment, so I suspect that one is due soon anyway.

Fail

1.) I'm getting ready to take a piss in a public bathroom at the Rose Bowl. Just as I take my dick out, the guy in the urinal next to me says, "So...how ya doing?"

Freakin' Bluetooth, man.

2.) The human eye can distinguish between 10 million different colors. Unfortunately for me, paint companies try their best to represent as many of them as they can. How am I supposed to choose a color to paint my room when there are 500 shades of light blue? On the other hand, I am now looking into how to land a job as the guy who gets to name these colors. You can seriously make up whatever bullshit you want. Some examples: Approaching Dusk, Baked Scone, Comforting

3.) A few weeks ago, AAA sent me some information trying to get me to become a member. In the envelope, there was a temporary membership card good for the next six weeks or so. I threw away the letter and forms and kept the card. Never know when you could use it, right? As luck would have it, I locked my keys in my car a few days ago. I remembered the card, pulled it out of my wallet, and called the number.

After I told her it was a temporary membership, the representative asked me if I had sent in my payment yet. Not liking where this was going, but not wanting to paint myself in a corner, I told her that I hadn't. She consulted her supervisor and then told me that they couldn't help me.

"Oh, so this isn't a trial membership, but more of a temporary card to use while the member fee gets processed and the real card gets sent in the mail?"

"Uh yeah."

"So, you can't send someone over?"

"No. I can give you the number for a service nearby."

"It's alright, I'll figure something else out. But I guess I won't be sending that payment in."
*click*

If AAA had helped me out, I would've actually considered joining. But nope, they just suck at customer acquisition.

Obama regains the lead in polls

2008-09-18T22:28:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I thought about betting on McCain in the past couple of weeks. With Biden seeming like he fell off the face of the planet, McCain erased Obama's lead and even enjoyed being the favorite by a few points as recently as yesterday. All the while, he taunted me on Sportsbook.com with +110 and +120 payouts. A good gambler is ruthless and does not let personal preference cloud his judgment. Chris, for example, will bet against his alma mater UCLA when favorable conditions arise. Then again, poetic justice came to bite him in the ass when they upset Tennessee. Nevertheless, I remained patient and held back. Today, Obama surged ahead to become the favorable selection in the election projections (you like that?). His win percentage is now 61.2%. I pounced on the bet, putting down $600 to win $400. +EV by 1%, baby!!

We're talkin' change in my pocket, biatch!

How much is Obama worth?

2008-09-12T16:25:00.000-07:00

On Sportsbook.com, he is -160, but on Intrade.com, he is trading at 48.5. I think that getting Obama at the end of the Republican National Convention buzz is a great move. Palin is a little worrisome, because of all the media attention she is getting. Although some of it may be painting her to be a wolf-hunting, book-banning Bridge to Nowhere supporter, there is also no such thing as bad press...

On an unrelated note, I've started to put a parking ticket envelope on my windshield to ward off future parking tickets. Do you think this will work? I am still feeding the meter, but I figure this is a no-cost backup plan.

Edit (09/16/08): Obama shifts to -150, McCain to +110 on Sportsbook.

Goo Gone

2008-09-08T23:39:00.000-07:00

omg, i win teh interwebz!!!1

By the way, never type like that unless you're being ironic. And even then, it's a little questionable. Ugh, I can't even begin to count how many games of Amorphous+ I played to get that. It's a fun game, but getting all the awards is brutal.

Neat Change Example #1

2008-09-05T19:46:00.001-07:00

The basic guidelines to strive for are to get bills or quarters over other coins and to avoid pennies.

Lots of expletives

2008-09-05T17:04:00.000-07:00

I played for seven hours. I was fairly certain that I was going to cash around $1000. Here are some of the highlights:

$5+0.50 No-Limit Hold 'em tourney on PokerStars ($15k guaranteed)
3510 entrants

37 players left, a sick beat:

Level XXI (4000/8000) - 2008/09/05 18:32:38 ET
Seat 1: El Jokko Bro (245662 in chips)
Seat 2: Doctor AK (369908 in chips)
Seat 3: OoYeahoO (260111 in chips)
Seat 4: daBread5 (150066 in chips)
Seat 5: konspirator (398868 in chips)
Seat 7: Rusty988 (286437 in chips)
Seat 8: thelover10 (196113 in chips)
Seat 9: FlyingLear (394202 in chips)

El Jokko Bro: posts the ante 800
All players: post the ante 800
FlyingLear: posts small blind 4000
El Jokko Bro: posts big blind 8000

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [Th Ts]
daBread5: calls 8000
konspirator: raises 27000 to 35000
daBread5: raises 114266 to 149266 and is all-in
konspirator: calls 114266

*** FLOP *** [9d 8h Jc]

*** TURN *** [9d 8h Jc] [7d]

*** RIVER *** [9d 8h Jc 7d] [Tc]

*** SHOW DOWN ***
daBread5: shows [Ks Qc] (a straight, Nine to King)
konspirator: shows [Th Ts] (a straight, Seven to Jack)
daBread5 collected 316932 from pot
OoYeahoO said, "omg"

18 players left, huge call against a hyper-aggressive opponent:

Level XXIII (6000/12000) - 2008/09/05 19:10:44 ET
Seat 1: El Jokko Bro (190750 in chips)
Seat 2: joelmelcher (398696 in chips)
Seat 3: OoYeahoO (301400 in chips)
Seat 4: daBread5 (429732 in chips)
Seat 5: konspirator (603050 in chips)
Seat 6: yukon200 (142240 in chips)
Seat 7: Rusty988 (223637 in chips)
Seat 8: gtntrs117 (1133322 in chips)
Seat 9: joeppiej (631799 in chips)

All players: post the ante 1200
daBread5: posts small blind 6000
konspirator: posts big blind 12000

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [2c 2d]
joelmelcher: raises 36000 to 48000
konspirator: calls 36000

*** FLOP *** [Kc 3d Ks]
konspirator: checks
joelmelcher: bets 349496 and is all-in
konspirator: calls 349496

*** TURN *** [Kc 3d Ks] [Kd]

*** RIVER *** [Kc 3d Ks Kd] [Jd]

*** SHOW DOWN ***
konspirator: shows [2c 2d] (a full house, Kings full of Deuces)
joelmelcher: shows [Ad 6d] (a flush, Ace high)
konspirator collected 811792 from pot

The setup leading up to my fatal hand:

Level XXV (10000/20000) - 2008/09/05 19:42:36 ET
Seat 1: El Jokko Bro (730232 in chips)
Seat 2: iamadumbnoob (215561 in chips)
Seat 3: BigGeno47 (460546 in chips)
Seat 5: konspirator (1206096 in chips)
Seat 8: gtntrs117 (962009 in chips)
Seat 9: joeppiej (1231216 in chips)

All players: post the ante 2000
El Jokko Bro: posts small blind 10000
iamadumbnoob: posts big blind 20000

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [5s 5d]
konspirator: raises 40000 to 60000
El Jokko Bro: raises 260000 to 320000
konspirator: folds
Uncalled bet (260000) returned to El Jokko Bro
El Jokko Bro collected 152000 from pot
El Jokko Bro: shows [Ad Ah] (a pair of Aces)

Level XXV (10000/20000) - 2008/09/05 19:51:13 ET
Seat 1: El Jokko Bro (770232 in chips)
Seat 2: iamadumbnoob (545422 in chips)
Seat 3: BigGeno47 (135985 in chips)
Seat 5: konspirator (1128096 in chips)
Seat 8: gtntrs117 (664709 in chips)
Seat 9: joeppiej (1561216 in chips)

All players: post the ante 2000
joeppiej: posts small blind 10000
El Jokko Bro: posts big blind 20000

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [Jc Th]
konspirator: raises 40000 to 60000
El Jokko Bro: raises 80000 to 140000
konspirator: folds
El Jokko Bro collected 142000 from pot

El Jokko Bro said, "qq"
konspirator said, "had me killed"

Level XXVI (15000/30000) - 2008/09/05 19:57:08 ET
Seat 1: El Jokko Bro (975232 in chips)
Seat 2: iamadumbnoob (563422 in chips)
Seat 3: BigGeno47 (85985 in chips)
Seat 5: konspirator (1360096 in chips)
Seat 8: gtntrs117 (604709 in chips)
Seat 9: joeppiej (1216216 in chips)

All players: post the ante 3000
joeppiej: posts small blind 15000
El Jokko Bro: posts big blind 30000

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [4s 4d]
konspirator: raises 70000 to 100000
El Jokko Bro: raises 260000 to 360000
konspirator: folds
El Jokko Bro collected 233000 from pot
El Jokko Bro: shows [Kh Kc] (a pair of Kings)

I finally decide that he has to be setting up for a bluff soon. When he reraised me again preflop, I just could not put him on yet another high pocket pair. Besides, I was raising his blind every time, not because he was a weak player, but because I just happened to always get dealt a raising hand when it was his blind.

Level XXVI (15000/30000) - 2008/09/05 20:00:47 ET
Seat 1: El Jokko Bro (1078232 in chips)
Seat 2: iamadumbnoob (503422 in chips)
Seat 5: konspirator (1230096 in chips)
Seat 8: gtntrs117 (1134418 in chips)
Seat 9: joeppiej (859492 in chips)

All players: post the ante 3000
joeppiej: posts small blind 15000
El Jokko Bro: posts big blind 30000

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [Kd Th]
konspirator: raises 60000 to 90000
El Jokko Bro: raises 180000 to 270000
konspirator: calls 180000

*** FLOP *** [Ts 7s 6c]
El Jokko Bro: bets 180000
konspirator: raises 330000 to 510000
El Jokko Bro: raises 295232 to 805232 and is all-in
konspirator: calls 295232

*** TURN *** [Ts 7s 6c] [Ad]

*** RIVER *** [Ts 7s 6c Ad] [Qh]

*** SHOW DOWN ***
El Jokko Bro: shows [Jd Js] (a pair of Jacks)
konspirator: shows [Kd Th] (a pair of Tens)
El Jokko Bro collected 2180464 from pot

I finished in 11th place and we all know that you don't get paid shit unless you make the final table.

Edit: Went to the final table to chat a little. El Jokko Bro is still in with 4 players left. This helped confirm that he had QQ when he said he did. If a player lied about what he had, usually he won't remember what his lie was.

maui'd [observer]: el jokko, you're still in?
konspirator [observer]: he was the one who busted me
konspirator [observer]: woke up with a high pocket pair everytime i raised preflop
maui'd [observer]: tuff one
konspirator [observer]: brutal
maui'd [observer]: i forgot who took me out
El Jokko Bro: yes I was vey lucky against conspirator
konspirator [observer]: hard to believe that if i survived 11 more hands, i would've made at least 900 instead of 100
El Jokko Bro: had AA KK KK QQ and JJ
konspirator [observer]: you play hundreds and hundreds of hands and it just comes down to one
maui'd [observer]: yup

Buzz Cola

2008-09-04T21:49:00.000-07:00

Aside from a great dinner and movie, my birthday also brought me a job interview, which I went to today. It's nothing too glamorous, but I am now a marketing intern for SodaHead, a social networking site that centers around user-created polls. I'm only going to be working there 20 hours a week, so I'll still be looking for work in order to put three meals in my belly everyday. This is a step in the right direction though. It's not just a time-killer job like the admin one I posted about last week and it would let me explore one of the major facets of business. Because it is a start-up, I hope to spend some time picking the brain of the founder and hearing his story on how he started his own company. I start next Monday, so I'll follow up with details then.

Quarter Century

2008-09-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

I am now 25 years old. Yay, I guess. I can now rent a car and be elected to the U.S. House of Representatives. Let the flood of Facebook messages begin...

A favorite game of mine from long ago called Magic: The Gathering turned 15 this year. I went through some of my old decks and it brought back a lot of good memories. Now, Black Lotuses are worth thousands of dollars and there are too many expansions to keep track of. Man, I would love to just spend a day and geek out with players using old-school Magic cards. One of the great things about Magic was that as nerd-centric as it was, you would occasionally see some pretty gangsta people into it. I also remember seeing some bored, yet hot, girlfriends at the side of some of these Magic players. I mean, really, the satisfaction that is gained from having something you've spent hours constructing work exactly as planned is universal.

Some people would give up their firstborn for this.
Edit: How do you do captions? =(

Other milestones in the past few days:
- 300 badges on Kongregate
- 500 movie ratings on the Facebook movie application

Card Drought Ends Auspicious Tournament Start

2008-09-02T22:33:00.000-07:00

Normally, I wouldn't even blog about a tournament cash so minor, but looking at my records, I just realized that this was the first online tournament cash I've had in 2008. Granted, I haven't been playing much online this year, but that's still pretty sad. Ok, time to celebrate my little victory:

$10+1 No-Limit Hold 'em tourney on PokerStars
Unlimited rebuys, 1 add-on
$80,000 guaranteed prize pool
2187 entrants

After a rough start that had me rebuying a few times, I manage to pull into the chip lead in my table. Then I started to slowly build up my stack. I am trying to do moves like this more often.

Level V (75/150) - 2008/09/02 22:46:37 ET
Seat 1: The Bronc (16825 in chips)
Seat 2: docloosley (3925 in chips)
Seat 3: Dany1984 (6905 in chips)
Seat 4: gillete (5625 in chips)
Seat 5: Nanguillo (1550 in chips)
Seat 6: i k!ll D0nks (8845 in chips)
Seat 7: JezusKrist (3650 in chips)
Seat 8: 27011988 (9125 in chips)
Seat 9: konspirator (9550 in chips)
Nanguillo: posts small blind 75
i k!ll D0nks: posts big blind 150

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [Ts Ah]
27011988: calls 150
konspirator: calls 150
gillete: calls 150
Nanguillo: calls 75
i k!ll D0nks: checks

*** FLOP *** [Js 2h 7c]
Nanguillo: checks
i k!ll D0nks: checks
27011988: checks
konspirator: checks
gillete: checks

*** TURN *** [Js 2h 7c] [3c]
Nanguillo: checks
i k!ll D0nks: checks
27011988: checks
konspirator: checks
gillete: bets 300
Nanguillo: folds
i k!ll D0nks: folds
27011988: folds
konspirator: raises 600 to 900
gillete: folds
konspirator collected 1350 from pot
konspirator: doesn't show hand

About an orbit or two later, it's time for a "get out with that weak shit" play:

Level VII (125/250) - 2008/09/02 23:07:33 ET
Seat 1: The Bronc (14925 in chips)
Seat 2: Hmelmahay (6220 in chips)
Seat 3: Dany1984 (10355 in chips)
Seat 4: gillete (6080 in chips)
Seat 5: Nanguillo (4400 in chips)
Seat 6: i k!ll D0nks (20340 in chips)
Seat 7: JezusKrist (7450 in chips)
Seat 8: 27011988 (21150 in chips)
Seat 9: konspirator (11500 in chips)
All players: post the ante 25
27011988: posts small blind 125
konspirator: posts big blind 250

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [8s 2c]
The Bronc: raises 250 to 500
i k!ll D0nks: calls 500
konspirator: calls 250

*** FLOP *** [Qs 6h 8h]
konspirator: checks
The Bronc: checks
i k!ll D0nks: bets 500
konspirator: calls 500
The Bronc: calls 500

*** TURN *** [Qs 6h 8h] [Tc]
konspirator: checks
The Bronc: checks
i k!ll D0nks: bets 500
konspirator: raises 1500 to 2000
The Bronc: folds
i k!ll D0nks: calls 1500

*** RIVER *** [Qs 6h 8h Tc] [9c]
konspirator: bets 2500
i k!ll D0nks: folds
Uncalled bet (2500) returned to konspirator
konspirator collected 7350 from pot
konspirator: doesn't show hand

Then I get moved to another table. About 10 hands in, I make a nice call.

Level IX (200/400) - 2008/09/02 23:27:53 ET
Seat 1: 1CDN_Hustler (20480 in chips)
Seat 2: jrwhitetiger (13650 in chips)
Seat 3: Bumpers251 (13700 in chips)
Seat 4: ECR714 (9250 in chips)
Seat 5: THE BORT (26260 in chips)
Seat 6: Kpenga (10975 in chips)
Seat 7: konspirator (17725 in chips)
Seat 8: 0TT0MaTic (10145 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 9: chipmaker9 (5505 in chips)
All players: post the ante 50
jrwhitetiger: posts small blind 200
Bumpers251: posts big blind 400

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [Jd Ah]
konspirator: raises 800 to 1200
1CDN_Hustler: calls 1200

*** FLOP *** [Js Qd 8h]
konspirator: checks
1CDN_Hustler: checks

*** TURN *** [Js Qd 8h] [8s]
konspirator: bets 2000
1CDN_Hustler: raises 3200 to 5200
konspirator: calls 3200

*** RIVER *** [Js Qd 8h 8s] [Qh]
konspirator: checks
1CDN_Hustler: bets 4800
konspirator: calls 4800

*** SHOW DOWN ***
1CDN_Hustler: shows [4d Ad] (two pair, Queens and Eights)
konspirator: shows [Jd Ah] (two pair, Queens and Jacks)
konspirator collected 23450 from pot

It never feels like discipline is rewarded in poker. Fortunately, there was no action, saving my desk from some serious headbanging.

Level X (300/600) - 2008/09/02 23:42:05 ET
Table '105241989 21' 9-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: sergiomotta (31140 in chips)
Seat 2: jrwhitetiger (29230 in chips)
Seat 3: Bumpers251 (3760 in chips)
Seat 4: ECR714 (10550 in chips)
Seat 5: THE BORT (29910 in chips)
Seat 6: Kpenga (8375 in chips)
Seat 7: konspirator (42060 in chips)
Seat 8: 0TT0MaTic (6545 in chips)
Seat 9: DcRoCk6 (7925 in chips)
All players: post the ante 50
Bumpers251: posts small blind 300
ECR714: posts big blind 600

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [5d 6d]

konspirator: folds
Bumpers251: calls 300
ECR714: checks

*** FLOP *** [3d Kh 4d]
Bumpers251: checks
ECR714: checks

*** TURN *** [3d Kh 4d] [8d]
Bumpers251: checks
ECR714: checks

*** RIVER *** [3d Kh 4d 8d] [7d]
Bumpers251: checks
ECR714: checks

*** SHOW DOWN ***
Bumpers251: shows [2c Qs] (high card King)
ECR714: shows [6s Qc] (high card King - Queen+Eight+Seven+Six kicker)
ECR714 collected 1650 from pot

I have had sessions where every time I fold a questionable hand, I seemingly hit the flop hard. Another example of me tightening up just because it's a tournament:

Level XV (1000/2000) - 2008/09/03 0:42:05 ET
Seat 1: konspirator (102726 in chips)
Seat 2: KenaiBear (11445 in chips)
Seat 3: janetintexas (41554 in chips)
Seat 4: IONA06 (28009 in chips)
Seat 5: peeks33 (81011 in chips)
Seat 6: luisfran (48343 in chips)
Seat 7: Hallowed6882 (22840 in chips)
Seat 8: jamesy (38464 in chips)
Seat 9: DaddyBrooks (40218 in chips)
All players: post the ante 200
jamesy: posts small blind 1000
DaddyBrooks: posts big blind 2000

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to konspirator [8s As]
konspirator: folds
jamesy: calls 1000
DaddyBrooks: checks

*** FLOP *** [8c 3s Js]
jamesy: bets 2000
DaddyBrooks: folds
Uncalled bet (2000) returned to jamesy
jamesy collected 5800 from pot

Near the bubble, I lose a race against a short-stacked player, which marked the beginning of my chip stack's decline. Moved to another table, I had to wait over 20 hands before I picked up something I felt comfortable going all-in with. They were pocket nines, and even that couldn't hold up to another short stack's 2-9s when the flop showed a pair of deuces. Meanwhile, a player with 15000 chips goes on an insane rush to shoot up to nearly 200,000 and third in chips overall. Another player at this new table is overplaying mid-tier hands and is getting massively paid by sucking out.

Finally with blinds 3000/6000 and a 600 ante, I push my 54,000 chip stack in preflop with 67 suited, while in middle position. These situations never have a happy ending for me. It's my first time making a move like that and of course pocket kings calls me. I finish in 237th place.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers

2008-09-02T00:58:00.000-07:00

Finally, the dozens of resumes I have sent out paid off in the form of a job interview last Friday. Unfortunately, it was a safety net job as an administrative assistant for a law firm. I showed up to the office and there were competent looking people waiting for their interviews too. It looks like I'm not even guaranteed to land a chump job these days. (In these situations, where everyone interviewing is pretty much qualified to do the job, I try to make a lasting impression by taking a non-conventional approach: being funny, brutally honest, whatever). It turned out that the law office is of one Jeffrey Steinberger, a celebrity attorney. Didn't ring any bells for me either.

The office is cramped, seemingly more so from the framed collages of celebrities plastered all over the wall. The receptionist is browsing mySpace profiles. Everyone working there is attractive. I don't think I would mind working here. I need a steady income stream and an office job with lots of downtime could let me do the things I'm doing here at home everyday and get paid for it.

Mr. Steinberger wasn't in the office. After consulting with him on the phone, one of the assistants proceeds with the first round, which was just a five-minute information gathering chat. I heard all the questions before my turn because they didn't even bother closing the door. After the interview, she tells me that Mr. Steinberger would be in the office in half an hour and recommended that I go kill some time in a coffee shop. That's a good sign, I heard her tell one of the applicants before me that they would call her.

I come back to see even more applicants waiting on Steinberger. However, it is apparent that Steinberger is in his office now. There are assistants going in and out and his voice rings clearly through the door. As the minutes ticked by, I was increasingly appalled that an employer would have such low regard for his potential employees to leave them in the lobby waiting while he continued to work as normal. His true colors were made even more apparent in a few phone calls which we all could hear, including one on speakerphone where he verbally abused the caller for asking him to repeat what he said. After an hour in a room with these miserable applicants waiting to be a whipped lackey, I got up and told the receptionist, "Tell Mr. Steinberger to call me if he likes my resume. I have better things to do with my day."

gg, McCain

2008-08-29T10:43:00.000-07:00

McCain must be getting desperate. Sarah Palin? Seriously? I bet I can tell what he's thinking though. Just for fun, let's talk about it in terms of fantasy sports, since my brain is still wired to think that way from yesterday.

I was almost certain that Obama would not choose Clinton as his running mate. He wants someone who will help anchor his lead in the polls, someone to take votes away from McCain. He doesn't need to appease Clinton supporters when they are going to end up voting for him anyway. If he drafted Jonathan Papelbon, he does not need to need to draft Francisco Rodríguez in the next round. He's going to take a player from a position who is going to help him in other statistical categories. So Obama chose Biden, an old white man. Don't take this the wrong way; I'm not saying that this is the reason, I'm saying it's a reason.

McCain is trying the same thing. There's the hope to convert some of the Clinton voters and maybe steal some of the thunder from Obama's message of change by doing something completely unexpected of the GOP. However, because he's behind, he's using another fantasy concept: upside. This means passing up more established and competent players/candidates for a rookie that has a high ceiling of return. In the long run, you do better by sticking with the solid veteran, but if you're behind, you might need to take a gamble. That gamble might pay off or it might totally blow up in your face. I don't think McCain is that far behind to justify taking this risk. How could this plan backfire, as it most likely will? It might have to do with the fact that not only is Palin a rookie, she's never played in anything past Little League.

"As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?"
-Sarah Palin

Always a good sign...

2008-08-28T21:52:00.000-07:00

...when people are complimenting your picks instead of laughing at them. I just got out of the draft for the 12-team fantasy football league I mentioned below. Here's my team, along with some commentary.

QB - Peyton Manning: (17) I was glad that Manning fell to me here because I wanted to draft either Manning, Romo, or Brees. I feel that Brady's price (he goes around 6th in drafts I've seen) is too high based on his previous season. Out of the top 4 QBs, I thought I got the best deal, as Romo and Brees owners (insanely?) reached for them at 11th and 18th picks respectively. Larry Johnson was the only attractive option.

WR - Plaxico Burress: (32) I wanted T.J. Houshmandzadeh, but Tai took him right before me.

WR - Laveranues Coles: (65) I wanted Jerricho Cotchery, but in every recent draft I've seen, he's been snagged up way before his 83rd ranking.

RB - Joseph Addai: (8) This was huge. Picking 8th, I was expecting someone like Frank Gore to be my best option. Addai is so much better.

RB - Earnest Graham: (41) With only 1 RB in the first three picks, this one needed to be a RB and getting one ranked 33rd on the latest Big Board is not bad.

TE - Kellen Winslow: (56) I tried to avoid drafting a TE too early, waiting patiently as Antonio Gates (44) and Jason Witten (51) went off the board. After I chose Winslow (mostly because I had no backup plan once Calvin Johnson was taken), Tai remarked, "He is no better than the next 5 TEs." This was probably my first mistake during the draft.

W/R - DeAngelo Williams [RB]: (80) I heard he is having a good preseason.

BN - Lee Evans [WR]: (89) I had just filled out my starting lineup minus kicker and defense, so my goal was to choose the best available player regardless of position. I don't know who that is, but Evans was on top of the list. Picks 90-95 went: Scheffler, Fargas, Perry, San Diego, Chester Taylor, and Norwood. None of those guys really look better than Evans.

BN - Ricky Williams [RB]: (104) This was the last of the players on my short list of middle-tier sleepers (projected rank 100-150). Patrick Crayton (72), Nate Burleson (98), Chris Johnson (79), and Jerious Norwood (95) were the others. Apparently, other managers had the same ideas as me (or read the same articles...haha).

BN - Brett Favre [QB]: (113) There's upside here, no? Delhomme, Schaub, and Eli Manning were the other draft-able QBs. Four DEF had already gone in the top 100 and I was considering using this pick for Chicago. Unfortunately, it went at 109. It may be a blessing in disguise, though, because this is earlier than I would've liked to choose a DEF anyway. I was hoping for like two rounds later.

BN - Sidney Rice [WR]: (128) Not sure what I was doing here. I think Derrick Mason would have been a better choice.

BN - Ahmad Bradshaw [RB]: (137) I think this is one of those picks where I just take the highest ranked player that I haven't written a negative note about.

BN - Maurice Morris [RB]: (152) This could be a huge pick if Julius Jones drops out of the picture.

DEF - Tennessee: (161) Just took the highest ranked one available. Tennessee is one of four consistent defenses that have been in the top 12 for the past three seasons. Even then, I probably would have picked New York (159). I might get it anyway since its owner already has Minnesota.

K - Rob Bironas: (176) 2007's 2nd best kicker. Not too shabby for a last round pick.

Overall, I think my draft went well. I am going to try to downgrade my TE and maybe try to boost my bench's strength. I am definitely losing to Tai when we face each other though. Almost half of my offense has a bye week (most notably my top 3 draft picks) and I have barely enough active players to fill the spots.

I wanna get you in the Georgia dome on the fifty yard line

2008-08-28T16:50:00.000-07:00

I have been playing fantasy sports for five years. I have gotten pretty good at it. Since 2005, I have been in 14 leagues. Nine of them have finished already and I have placed at least third in regular season standings in all of those leagues (average league size of 12), with the exception of a 4th place finish in a 18-team league. I am currently leading my baseball league. If I win it, I would have at least one league win for three years straight.

With all that said, let me add another thing: I know very little about actual sports. I don’t know which teams belong in the AL or the NL. I couldn’t tell you what teams many of my fantasy players play for in real life. I’m still a little bit hazy on what the different positions in basketball do. I rarely watch sports on TV or in person. I certainly wouldn’t be able to recognize most sports stars if they passed me on the street. I shy away from sports video games because I have no clue how to play them.

I see fantasy sports as a game and the players as stocks with values that rise and fall. Because of the time commitment that is required, I deem it worthy of being competitive over. Like a good investor, I gather information and try to find good values.

This is my first year playing fantasy football. Tai invited me to a $50 entry fee league with his coworkers. I spent this week preparing for the draft, more time than usual because I had to learn all of these unfamiliar names. I can already see some significant differences between fantasy football and basketball/baseball, such as the absence of streaming as a strategy. One thing I’m starting to do to prepare is run through a practice draft in a Yahoo! public league. It’s not a mock draft because I go on to play in the league but it helps me learn which players to reach for and which ones I can hold off on.

I was supposed to do my practice draft yesterday. I had my Excel file and my schedule open. I cracked my knuckles and clicked on the link to Yahoo’s fantasy sports page. It refused to load. Every other webpage didn’t have a problem. Just this specific webpage at this specific time. Even the rest of Yahoo! was working. If you knew all the shit that had happened to me earlier this week though, this kind of cosmic cruelty would seem about par for the course.

I check the site again a little later. Of course it works and of course the draft is already over. I check out the draft results and gaze at the horror that is auto-draft:

QB – Carson Palmer (38)
WR – Larry Fitzgerald (23)
WR – Marvin Harrison (43)
WR – Chris Chambers (63)
RB – Steven Jackson (3)
RB – Ryan Grant (18)
TE – Chris Cooley (58)
BN – Jonathan Stewart (98)
BN – Donald Driver (103)
BN – Jerry Porter (118)
BN – Tony Scheffler (123)
BN – Jon Kitna (138)
K – Shayne Graham (83)
BN – David Akers (143)
DEF – Jacksonville (78)

There are a few picks that I like, but overall, it will be a struggle to transform this team into a winner.

So today, I decide to try it again. This time I can get to the fantasy homepage, but when I try to join the draft, it doesn’t fully load! The progress bar is stuck at about 90% on several attempts. The solution was to update my Flash player because now the draft window is really fancy, with a ton of flashy (heh heh) graphics and features. I was not too happy to see that they show the ADP of each player because it levels the playing field a bit for the managers who don’t do any pre-draft research.

I’d like to think that I have a better team here than my auto-drafted one, but you can be the judge of that:

QB – Donovan McNabb (52)
WR – T.J. Houshmandzadeh (29)
WR – Calvin Johnson (49)
WR – Donald Driver (69)
RB – Frank Gore (9)
RB – Larry Johnson (12)
TE – Vernon Davis (92, autodrafted/ran out of time)
BN – Jamal Lewis (32)
BN – Matt Forte (72)
BN – Jay Cutler (89)
BN – Anthony Gonzalez (109)
BN – Selvin Young (112)
BN – Donte’ Stallworth (129)
K – Kris Brown (149)
DEF – Jacksonville (132)

I hated being at the end of the snake (9th pick with 10 teams). It forced me to reach for some players to fill scarce positions (McNabb, Driver). I learned that it is not a good idea to go RB-RB with the first two picks because the RB position is deep and there are a lot of good values to be found in the middle rounds of the draft when managers are skipping over RBs to fill other positions. Anticipating this, I would try to get a WR with one of my first two picks, so that I wouldn’t feel pressured to reach for one later when the run starts. I would’ve enjoyed getting Jamal Lewis with the 32nd pick if I had chosen Terrell Owens in the second round instead of Larry Johnson. I’m not sure how important the bench is in fantasy football yet. I know I can use my RB3 at least twice, during the bye weeks of my main guys. But if there’s not much more to that, then it would be a lot of wasted stats for Lewis.

Now I turn my attention to Tai’s league, where there’s money on the line and the smack talk matters. I don’t know Tai’s coworkers, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s more or less like a public league. The main thing that I needed to take into consideration though is the custom settings for the league. These are the differences from the default settings and the adjustments I am making in my drafting strategy:

12 teams instead of 10 - I don't have enough experience to know how to adjust my drafting for this, but I think it means that shallow positions are even more valuable. Being at the end of the snake would be even more brutal too, as you would have to watch up to 22 picks go by between yours. Yup, might have to stretch before the draft because of all the reaching you'll do.

W/R replaces one WR position – It allows the manager more flexibility in setting his lineup. This slot is going to be filled by a RB most of the time because they score more points. But if there are three good WR matchups for the week, this will be useful. In terms of drafting, there is less pressure to reach for WR. This also makes drafting RB-RB for the first two rounds a more attractive strategy.

Passing Touchdowns worth 6 points instead of 4 – This is a huge boost to the value of the QB position, which is already the highest-scoring. Tom Brady would have scored you an extra 100 fantasy points last year under this setting. Drafting a top 5 QB is essential.

Interceptions worth -2 points instead of -1 – No significant effect. QBs don’t throw more than 25 interceptions over the course of the season and the touchdown boost above more than compensates for this.

(Offensive) Return Touchdowns not scored – No significant effect.

FG (0-39 yds.) missed worth -1 point – No significant effect. Kickers only miss a few field goals per season.

Blocked Kicks worth 3 instead of 2
Kickoff and Punt Return Touchdowns worth 6 points – Chicago led the league in return TDs in 2006 and 2007 by a margin of 2. They also led the league in blocked kicks last year. These two changes slightly boost other DEF point contributions, but they don't boost their relative value like it does for Chicago. Unlike a manager who is looking to get San Diego or Minnesota, I can just let the crowd dictate when the run for DEF will start rather than risking jumping the gun too early.

I will update the blog later tonight after the draft. Hopefully everything goes according to plan!

Brain Pain

2008-08-27T01:16:00.000-07:00

If you have already beaten Minesweeper and Sudoku puzzles backwards and forwards and are still looking to get your logic fix, let me recommend my time sink today, Hexiom Connect. It has 40 levels, so the learning curve is gradual. There is also a random level generator to add some replay value. I have less than ten levels to go, so expect a brag post once I finish tackling the hard badge. Some of the levels will make your brain hurt just from looking at it, but having a systematic approach is the key in making sense of the chaos. Just make sure that approach doesn't include being a wuss and using a walkthrough.

If you liked the game, check out others at Kongregate's puzzle page. I recommend 3D Logic and Bloons because they are good enough to have sequels in case you get utterly hooked.

Edit (8/31/08): Got the hard badge. Man, level 39 took me a while...

Necessity is the mother of invention

2008-08-23T17:22:00.000-07:00

Without getting into the details leading up to this, here's the situation: She is happily asleep next to me and I'm lying there with my first case of blue balls in over a year. I surreptitiously sneak out of bed and head to the bathroom to try to rub one out. It was then that I discovered a second use for face wash.

I'm just glad that I use this now

instead of my old face wash:

No Limit Soldier

2008-08-20T17:39:00.000-07:00

I broke my rule of only risking $400 max at the casino last night. I was pissed after losing two buy-ins at my usual 200NL game. I withdrew another $400 and went to the 400NL table, which had significantly better players. It seemed like the only time big pots were won was when an excellent hand beat a great hand. However, my biggest hand of the night came as a result of a breakdown in discipline for one of my opponents:

Two players limp in preflop. I (stack size $700) am in the small blind with JJ. I raise it up to $70. The big blind (stack size $1500+), who is known for playing any hand, calls. One of the limpers (stack size $600), a young hotshot type, calls. Flop comes 4-5-8 rainbow. I check and the big blind checks. The last player thinks for a long time, then goes all-in. I go in the tank. I feel that a straight or set would not have made such a large overbet. Pocket kings or aces probably would have reraised preflop instead of seeing the flop three-way. I am not sure what hand he has, but I think that he puts me on AK who got scared when I got two surprising calls. I call. He has 8-6 and my jacks hold up.

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Since we're on the subject of No Limit, I have to share these YouTube comments on the video for "Make 'Em Say Ugh":

"fights used to always break out at the club when this song ... went on"

"Lol this song is fucking sick but at the same time its pretty retarded in many ways"

"THIS SONG IS FUCKING INTENSE"

"i hATE THE WAY SILK THE SHOCKER RAPS ITS LIKE HE ALWAYS OFF BEAT AND SHIT"

"Since young people have matured, nobody don't really like Master P anymore, he don't sell anymore, and since I have matured since 7 monts ago and more, I don't like his shit, but this song is still aight and kind of crunk. Ugh-boo!"

What does a popsicle and a thermos have in common?

2008-08-15T00:33:00.000-07:00

There is something awesome about the sight of a grown man eating a popsicle. He was a swarthy, solidly-built guy with a bit of a resemblance to Sylvester Stallone sitting at the poker table enjoying a bright red popsicle at 11pm. Where did he even get it? What if in addition to those chip carts you see in the casinos there were guys pushing carts of Mexican frozen treats? I guess the little bells would get annoying after a while.

Thinking of popsicles led me to thinking about other genericized trademarks. There are different degrees of them, I concluded. Popsicles are a better example than Kleenex or xerox, for example, because most people will still say "tissue" and "copy".

There are going to be a lot of poker-related posts in this blog

2008-08-14T01:09:00.000-07:00

After butting heads a few times with a guy who had about $3000 in chips, he told me, "I just can't figure you out." Now that's the ultimate poker compliment.

I went on to have one of my best sessions in recent memory.

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As I walked up to the cashier cage to cash out, I saw a guy ahead of me buy about $40 in chips. The thing was, he paid with an assortment of bills and coins.

"Do you ever get worried when you see that?" I asked the cashier.

"I try not to think about it. But I know what you mean."

Little Victories

2008-08-11T23:59:00.000-07:00

I have no job. I have no girlfriend. I have no direction in my life. By many standards, I should be considered a loser. I am like a stoner letting the years of my youth float away, except I don't even get a good high out of the deal. But this isn't going to be a pity party because there are no neglectful parents or chronic illnesses to blame, just a man in his mid-twenties with just a little too much intelligence to settle for the mundane, but just a little short of the ambition needed to really do something about it. In fact, I am aiming to make this the first and last time I use this tone here. I know it will be a long time before I consider myself truly successful and happy. In the meantime, it is important for me to acknowledge, maybe even celebrate, the little victories in life. Most of them won't be relevant to my life's challenges, but that isn't the point. The point is that those moments that make you do a fist pump are great and deserve to be captured in a blog. By the way, "littlevictories.blogspot.com" and "fistpump.blogspot.com" were already taken.

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Tonight, I turned in another winning session at Hollywood Park's 200NL game ($3/$5 blinds). I played awfully, however, donking off chips with questionable hands and buckling under weak bets. Thanks to some bad plays by my opponents, I was able to see my stack size seesaw rather than just disappear into the felt. Several hours into the session, I was at $701 after posting the small blind. Now, I don't know if it's superstition or OCD, but I like cashing out with a nice even number. After tipping my usual dollar to the cashier, I would be walking out with a cool $500 in profit. Of course, this is a terrible basis for deciding when to leave a table. It is just one of those little illogical flaws I have in my game, like how some people have a favorite starting hand that they will play preflop when they otherwise shouldn't. In a situation like this, I even hope that someone will make a preflop raise so that I don't have to agonize over throwing in $2 to complete the blind and ruining my perfect chip count. Thankfully, there was a raise and I happily folded.

I go into tight mode, folding crappy hands as I wait for the big blind to come to me (I heard that writing/speaking in present tense makes for better storytelling). Then I am under the gun. Ah, one more fold and it will be time to go home. I take a peek and see A♣T♣. Just great... An ace-nine offsuit, I wouldn't have had trouble folding. I limp in and most of the table follows along. The flop comes 5♣6♣7♣. I fire out $20. The player to my left calls. Action makes it down to the cutoff and he grabs four yellow chips. But then he starts to mentally hem and haw. He shows his already-folded neighbor his hand. Finally he goes all-in. I flat-call, but the player on my left folds. The poor guy has a red 4-8 and now I'm sitting with about $850 in chips. I have another OCD dilemma now. Even stacks of chips are nice, but people like me also like to break arbitrary goals that we set. This has led to some headbanging in the past where a thought like "I have $490. I'll leave when I crack the $500 mark. Just gotta steal the blinds once or something." eventually resulted in me losing it all.

So I decide to stick around and go for $1000. I think you might have a feeling for how this story ends already. A few orbits later, I am on the button with pocket nines and a table full of limpers. I raise it up to $30, but I still get about five callers. The flop shows 9♥T♣Q♦. A little worrisome, but still a great flop for me. A woman bets $75 and a relatively short stack calls. I raise it to $200 to force the short stack to make an all-in decision. But first, the initial bettor is clearly not liking the raise. She hesitantly makes the call, the short stack calls, and the turn brings an 8♥. The woman's demeanor does a 180° and she confidently goes all-in for $300+. I groan and fold. She has J♥Q♥, the other player has some bullshit like J6o, and they chop up the pot.

Dang, just goes to show you should never question the sign of the even stack.

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Another victory today came in the form of this Flash game that I've been addicted to for the past couple of days called Amorphous+. I finally cleared the big nest after I-don't-know-how-many tries. Now to work on that Hall of Fame badge...